Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Perfection is Subjective.

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The whole world seems to be obsessed with perfection, the whole industry that i'm trying to break into is obsessed with the way that you look act and dress, even more so with journalism. As a girl i've grown up to hate every part of my body, I struggle to write five things about myself that I like, that are physical features and not features that are about my personality. Some how my intelligence, loyalty and willpower is overlooked by my hair, face and body. Yes I am victim to staring at pictures wishing I could wake and look like the girl just in the picture, trying to lose weight and wishing that my parents had enough money to buy me a nose job, but they can't and as soon as I realised that none of those things are happening, I made myself happier. Perfection is not what a person, the media or a website defines.

I tried not eating which lasted for a day, i've tried calorie counting and all the diets in the world, but the only way to acquire a body you desire is to eat well and workout. Simple. No fancy diets. I gained weight over a few years, with going through puberty and my body changing, I could no longer eat whatever I wanted. Unhappy with myself, blaming my lack of friends and social life on my looks, I took to comfort eating, which made me gain 3 stone in  a year and a half. Not cute. 2013 allowed me to see a healthy perspective on fitness and food. I feel that while I didn't lose weight in 2013, I really needed a year to focus myself and gain the insight that I now have on how to achieve the body I want and even though I try to hide my unhealthy relationship with food, I try not to see it as an outlet for my feelings and as the one thing that will make me feel better and then make me feel worse. My main motivation for weight loss is for a healthy lifestyle and to be able to feel good about myself, not to get a thigh gap or the new craze of a 'bikini bridge'. Tone It Up a lifestyle and fitness company, that span over twitter, facebook, and their blog  have really allowed me see that there is more to weight loss than being skinny. I am currently in the middle of their 'Love your body' series which is really helping me see myself in new light.

Yes I love clothes and makeup, but I wear the clothes that I wear and apply the makeup that I apply, maybe because I believe it will make myself more attractive but mainly because I find picking makeup and clothes to wear for the day or night fun and not because anyone else told me to. The point I'm getting at is that we should be able have this independence, to look a certain way because we want to. WE ARE NOT CLONES. Never dress a certain way for anyone but yourself, you are what defines your own perfection.

Tv. One may say trigger, one may say outlet. I found TV as my source of an outlet, to relate to characters and to have a place to seek help and advice. Everyone is different, but you have to find something that strikes a chord with you and will help you see a different light that the one you were surrounded in before. Last Year One Tree Hill helped me relate to character I never thought I could be like. Sophia Bush's character was introduced as the popular high school cheerleader, who was stunning, rich and could get any boy she wanted. However 'Brooke' always felt that people thought that she was happy because of her material items and the way that she carried herself. It wasn't until season 4 when 'Brooke' decided to take this picture, which for me encapsulated everything that I felt and it made me realise as I continued to watch the show and 'Brooke' grew as a character that one day you find someone or do something that makes you not feel that way about yourself anymore. The show also introduced me to Sophia Bush, who I obviously knew of but I wasn't too familiar with, however under her influence her character commissioned a campaign for her store that highlighted the pressures of the fashion world. 'Zero is not a Size', well zero is a size but it helped it letting me know that I don't have to be a size zero to fit in and be perfect.

Friends. Surround yourself with people that love you and support you. My friends are pretty, end of. It's not me saying that or thinking that because they are my friends, but they are pretty girls. I used to believe that I looked uglier next to them because they were pretty or that people would see them and then look at me and think why are they friends with her? I used to tell myself that I wasn't really in the group because I wasn't pretty enough and  a member of the group ( who in fact turned out to be a friend to none of us ) joked that I could ever get with a certain boy because he was good looking, I started to really believe that I was the ugly duckling per say of the group. However when I spoke to my friends two of them looked at me pull the ugliest faces going and asked 'We're pretty? yeah gorgeous' The small gesture made me feel better about myself and reassured me that it didn't matter what I looked like, I was their friend. I don't know why I would think that they wouldn't like me because I wasn't pretty enough. And while I still may think that I am the ugly duckling, I know regardless that I have friends who like me in all my ugly ducklingness! My friends and I aren't perfect and we don't all look alike but thats what makes us different.

The point of this post, is to show that perfection is subjective, my idea of perfection was the warped media version for so long, but now I have my own view on 'perfection'. To build a view you need to stand back and look, to feel better about yourself you need to stand back and look. Stop looking at things in the way that you think everyone else does and look at it through your eyes.